Humans of the Pandemic: Oliver and Westley

 

"Westley and I met in September 2019. I told you guys I had met him much earlier because I was like, ‘I’m going to Canada in February’ in November and I was thinking, ‘That’s weird, I’m gonna say that I’ve known him for longer so that they don’t think he’s gonna kill me.’ We met, I literally cannot make this up, on Minecraft. On a gay-themed server. Like you can’t be straight and join this server. You have to be gay. They have kicked people out for not being gay. This is not a joke. So I met him on a Minecraft server during like, a party celebrating the server’s 5-year anniversary. Maybe 7-year anniversary. And he was sitting in a tree. His Minecraft character was sitting in a tree because he had to go take his dog on a walk because it was 6:30 his time which is the time he, every day, goes and takes his dog on a walk. He was sitting in a tree AFK, not playing Minecraft, while he was walking his dog. Anyways, it was a drop party… you don’t need to include all of these details. It was a drop party. It was like, 50 people in a Minecraft server, admins are dropping items, and you pick one up and you’re like ‘wow! I got an elytra! I can fly now!’ But I already had [an elytra] so I saw the guy who had said in the chat, ‘I gotta go walk my dog. Bye guys, I’ll be back in 20 minutes.’ So I was like, ‘fuck it, I already have this item, here you go.’ That’s how I met my boyfriend. I gave him a Minecraft item, generously, and now he’s my boyfriend of a year and a half. I think that’s the weirdest way anyone has ever met. It’s pretty up there. I met my boyfriend because I threw an item at him in Minecraft.

"[Our relationship developed] very quickly. I’ve never really dated anyone in person, so I don’t really have anything to compare it to. I never had a long-term boyfriend, long-term girlfriend in high school or anything. It was the dilemma for all gay and not-straight and not-cis people where in high school, you just do not have any option, so it’s easier to just wait for a spot where you can say ‘yes, I’m gonna date somebody.’ And by the time you reach that point you’re like 25 and you’re like, ‘where do I fit in?’ So I meet my boyfriend on a Minecraft server and I start a long-distance relationship with him.

"The story [of going to visit him] starts on February 12, 2020. I had my sister Whitney drive me to the airport instead of my parents because I knew they were gonna act weird in the way that any parents would act with any relationship. But I don’t like my parents very much. I don’t like interacting with them in that way because they make it weird. So I had Whitney drive me to the airport because she’s more tolerant and more fun to interact with than my parents. Flying to see him was terrifying because it was the first time I had ever flown alone. And I was flying to meet someone that I had met on the internet. But I wasn’t nervous in the sense of ‘he’s gonna kill me,’ I was nervous in the sense of ‘I’m meeting him for the first time.’ It was terrifying! It was terrifying, going to see him. And his mother was terrifying for a little bit because again, I don’t like my own parents so I go into this situation being scared. So I was terrified to meet his mother and then as soon as I met her she treated me like her own kid which was immediately just the best sign in the world.

"I got off of the plane in Penticton, the town that he lives in. I land at about 2:15 and it’s a small plane because it was flying from Calgary to a town that has maybe 30,000 people. It’s a flight that happens once a day, back and forth. My flight was me and a bunch of old women. Like a lot of old women and a few old men and maybe one child. So I get off the plane. I walk into the tiny terminal. It was very small. One runway, maybe two. One to land, one to take off. So I get into the waiting area and I am literally pacing. I was pacing in front of the window and I am terrified. Because again, I am meeting someone that I’ve never met in person before. And his mother. So I’m pacing and I’m looking at the door. I would pace a little and then I would look at the door, pace a little then look at the door. It felt like it was 20 minutes but looking back I think it was probably 5. And I see him walk through the door. He is 6’3”. He’s wearing a black spiked choker, black gloves... That description makes it sound like he’s this big scary guy but he’s like… he has a round and approachable face. He couldn’t hurt somebody. I see him walk through the sliding door and my brain goes empty. I am just like, “Oh my God, that’s him.” And I run. I cut a path through the people in the terminal, and I run to my boyfriend. I run to him and I wrap my arms around him. I run into him and I push him back into the sliding door and it slides off the tracks. It’s designed to do that, but you don’t really want it to do that. I didn’t break the door. This is my defense. I didn’t break the door. In the video, you can hear this very loud noise of the door coming off of its tracks. And his mother recorded this video. And I’m so glad he had her record it because it was the first time we met in person.

"It was insane, to say the least. Words can’t even describe how it felt. Like, the best experience of my life. That is not an exaggeration. I don’t think there has been anything in my life that has topped the week that I spent in Canada. It was scary because… it’s not that I didn’t know him, it’s just that I was just in his house, 3,000 miles away from home. Scary, you know, just in general. But finally being together in person after we had been talking for a good bit was great. With all my heart, it was the best thing.

"I was supposed to go up to Canada again for my 19th birthday in August 2020. Obviously, that didn’t happen. I booked my flights in March last year, a few weeks after I came home from seeing him the first time because I was like ‘I need to go back. I know I need to go back and I need to go back soon.’ And then it was March 11th last year that I got a refund because they could not fulfill my flights because there were no flights between the United States and Canada at all. It was really hard to take that because going away from New Hampshire and Merrimack, where I live, is one of the biggest goals in my life. I don’t know what I want to do after but I know I need to get out of here. I was holding onto the hope that it would clear up, that Covid would be over by July. And flights would be back and I would be like, “Yup, okay, going to see him. That was scary, but I’m coming!” But as time passed it was just not happening, not happening, not happening. And it felt like not just the opportunity to see my boyfriend was being taken away from me, but the opportunity to get out of my hometown. And it still feels like that, because I still can’t go to Canada right now. Can’t go out of the state, really. It’s very hard. The last time I saw Westley in person was February 19th, 2020. It doesn’t feel good, you know? It doesn’t feel good. It feels really bad, not being able to see one of the most important people in my life. And not because of anything I can change. It’s extremely hard to take. I want to be able to change that and go see him, but having no control is just awful.

"We have been physically apart for a year and 2 months but there have been very few days apart in terms of playing a video game together or going to bed together. Even with the three-hour time difference, my sleep schedule and my work schedule end up being pretty decently lined up with his West coast schedule. So every night we spend most of the night together watching things and just spending time together. We’ve been away for a very long time and it doesn’t feel great since I like being in person. It’s hard, but we’re dealing with it.

"As soon as possible, we’re gonna start the process for me to be able to go up to Canada permanently. To move to Canada, right up to him. Transfer from Staples U.S. retail to Staples Canada retail, because he’s got a store about 10 minutes from where he lives. That’s a bit farther in the future. When we’re finally together again is going to be sooner than the future I’m talking about. When we’re finally together again it’ll just be a relief. A massive amount of relief.

"[The whole thing] has taught me patience. Both from waiting for the U.S. and Canadian governments to say 'Okay, come on in,' and just personally. I think one of the most important things that I’ve taken away is that when you love someone, it’s worth it. I would do this forever."