HONY: “That’s the nice thing about a child. They love you no matter what.”

I was completely stunned after reading Ryan Rasmussen’s feature in Humans of New York. It was a story that dealt with so many heavy topics: addiction, recovery, child rearing in a separated family, past trauma and abuse. Told through a narrative of finding love and starting a family while feeling hateful and empty, this particular piece unfolds beautifully with carefully executed moments of tension and a few twists that really struck an emotional chord with me. 

While the writing on this post is incredible, I really found myself drawn to the photographs associated with each chapter. For one, it was great to put names to faces, and doing so certainly benefited the emotion. Seeing photos of Ryan after reading about his struggles with trauma and addiction brought another level of realness to the piece. I also really enjoyed how each section's photos were set up, and how they reflected different moments in time. Starting off, we just see Ryan and Red, but as Lizzie is introduced into their lives, she pops up more and more. There was a particular passage where Ryan starts to see a shift in Red’s demeanor towards Lizzie, gradually letting her into their lives and building a bond with her, and even telling Lizzie things that he won’t tell Ryan. This is mirrored by photos of Lizzie and Red without Ryan, and eventually blossoms into family portraits taken along landmarks in their lives, such as their wedding and the purchase of their home. 

Overall I think the narrative of this piece is extremely well crafted, and it’s easy to tell right away that Brandon isn’t afraid to ask tough questions — an extremely important skill to develop as an interviewer. Ryan opens up in a few parts of the story about his struggle with addiction and how it impacted his relationship with his son. Admitting one’s faults is never an easy task, especially when it impacts someone so close to you. This anecdote, though heart wrenching and extremely vulnerable, might not have ever been uttered had Brandon not asked a tough question. 

“I remember having feelings like that, before the abuse. But afterwards nobody was proud of me anymore. There wasn’t anything left to be proud of. So I just burned down the rest of it. Burned it down with heroin and crack until I was finally forced to face it. Because if I didn’t, I’d lose my son. And that’s what I want you to know, little man. All this stuff that happened to your dad. It almost killed me. But you came along and saved me. Because I always loved you more than I hated myself.”

Without spoiling anything further, I want to mention the section where Ryan opens up about his past trauma. It’s disturbing to say the least, and can’t be easy to talk about on his end. Yet, he describes in great detail how it led to his struggle with drugs, and how it set him up to fail with his own family. That last tidbit, though unsettling, really tied the story together. We see a man who’d been dealt a heavy hand at life, and uses his misfortune to change and make a meaningful life for himself, which is an idea we can all identify with. We all face adversity to some extent, and to read how Ryan overcame such a devastating past was extremely motivating. 

https://www.humansofnewyork.com/post/642579716983930900/18-his-mother-was-red-lake-nation-american