Gaining Confidence

 In the “Excerpts from bad feminist” by Roxxane Gay, she mentions all the good that feminism has done for her. “Feminism has certainly helped me find my voice. Feminism has helped me believe my voice matters even in this world where there are so many voices demanding to be heard.” The idea of Feminism has given the author the courage to help her in the parts of her life that she needed the most. She went from being scared to speak up, to realizing that her voice counts just as much as everyone else's. 

Gay also mentions that even among all the good feminism has done for her, it is still flawed in some aspects. “In truth, feminism is flawed because it is a movement powered by people and people are inherently flawed...We hold feminism to an unreasonable standard where the movement must be everything we want and must always make the best choices. When feminism falls short of our expectations, we decide the problem is with feminism rather than with the flawed people who act in the name of the movement.'' She mentions how she hates that feminism is held to an unattainably high standard because even if something small goes wrong, people are so quick to blame the movement itself rather than the people that did the wrong doing. 

I completely agree with her. People shouldn't blame a whole movement that was created for good, if a few people happen to mess up. I think that people, usually men, are especially quick to blame the movement for anything because they don't understand the true definition of the word feminism. I have met some men that truly believe that the feminist movement is about this false idea that women want to control men, which is just simply not the case. 

In “Untied shoes” by Evie Ruddy, the author mentions how they never felt comfortable under labeling themself as one gender or the other. “Growing up, Evie Ruddy didn't quite feel like a girl or a boy...Thanks to gendered fashion industry conventions, buying shoes and clothes that reflect their identity has been a lifelong challenge for Evie. Framing their story as an online shopping experience underscores the hardship many non-binary and transgender people face trying to reflect their gender identity in their outward appearance.” Ruddy reflects on the struggles of what buying gender neutral clothing was like growing up and how it was never really an option when they were younger. Even though fashion is constantly changing, designers just can't seem to make more gender neutral clothing. It is nice to see the “Untied” gender neutral clothing brand that they have created which will hopefully make people feel more comfortable in their own skin, like they wished they had been when they were younger. Although I have never experienced those same feelings when it came to shopping, I completely feel for Ruddy. I can't even imagine how frustrating it must have been for them when they went to the store and could only find gender specific clothing. 

In “You're so brave for wearing clothes and not hating yourself” by Lindy West, she reflects on the struggles of growing up as a fat girl but then how she learned to love herself for who she is. “‘Where do you get your confidence?’ is a complex, dangerous question...if you are a thin person, please do not go around asking fat people where they got their confidence...I was just doomed to live in a culture that hated me. For me, the process of embodying confidence was less about convincing myself my own worth and more about rejecting and unlearning what society had hammered into me.” West points out how a skinny person asking a fat person where they got their confidence can be taken the wrong way. This is usually said with good intentions but can be thought of in the sense that the skinny person is only saying this because they know that they wouldn't be as confident as them if they were overweight. 

She also mentions the ways in which she gained her confidence, which involved not letting societal beauty standards get the best of her. She was used to feeling insecure about her body when she was younger but eventually realized that every body type can be beautiful. Even though people can be cruel about how others look, she refused to let anyone else's opinion bring her down.